Monday, October 11, 2010

back to school......

I had been working at for the Young Parents Program now almost 5 years now. I had accomplished
a lot of different trainings and received several certifications. The job was rewarding but also very draining. It was taking a toll on me mentally. It's hard to work with young teenage girls, they have so many other things on their mind. Most of the time it wasn't about the health of their babies or themselves. Like most teen girls, they were worried about who's with who. Some of them continued with school, and some didn't. It was my job to encourage them to at least go back to school, or get their GED. It was a great accomplishment either way if they finished.

During this time, I was also wanting something more. I had always wanted to go back to school, but really didn't have the time or the money. I was busy with the boys, and T and I didn't have the extra money to spare for me to attend school. We both had to work. So my dream of becoming a nurse went on the back burner when I had the kids. Which was fine, I needed to make sure that their needs were met. T and I had discussed that once they were all in school, if we could afford it then I would go back to school. Then.....well you know...the divorce happened. But, I was in a different frame of mind now. I needed to make some changes.

In the summer of 2006 I enrolled for the fall semester. The nursing program was going to take to much time away from my kids, so I decided to take a Phlebotomy class. It was two nights a week, and I could just go from my office over to the school. It worked out great. I loved it. It felt so good to finally accomplish something, to finally make that next step in my life. I passed the class with flying colors. I immediately signed up for my clinical rotation. My job was extremely flexible, so this also worked out well. January of 2007 I started my clinical rotation at the hospital. I got up at 3:45 in the morning to be at the hospital lab by 5. I was nervous at first, but after about a week I finally started to feel comfortable. I knew that I had made the right decision, and was determined to get a job working at the hospital. I wanted to make a good impression on the supervisor. I knew that my clinical was going to take about a month to complete, and I knew the hiring process would also take some time. But I waited patiently. The down fall to working at the hospital, it was going to only be part time until a full time position opened up. I knew that I couldn't quit my full time job. So I decided that I would work in the evenings, at the hospital and of course my full time job during the day.

I also wanted to take another class associated with Phlebotomy. It was an MLT class. With this class and the phlebotomy class, I would have a better change at getting a job, and more money. So, in May I started the summer class. I would go three times a week. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
I knew that Saturday's would be fine since I would already have picked up the kids on Friday. Brian would be home with them on Saturday mornings. It all worked out well. Most of the time I was out of class by noon, since the teacher had a son in baseball, he wanted to attend the games. So it didn't take to much time away from my weekend with the boys. The boys also understood, and had no problem with the Saturday schedule. We all have to make sacrifices along the way.

So once I was finished with my clinical, I put in my application for the part time position at the hospital. I was hired in August of 2007 for $9.00 hr. Yes, $9.00 an hour. I wasn't going to complain, I still had my full time job, which was covering the child support. This would just be extra money. I was happy just to have my foot in the door at the hospital. When I was hired, I told the supervisor that I don't have a problem working every other weekend, just at long as it wasn't on the weekend I had my kids. We agreed that I would provide them with a monthly calendar with my visitation schedule. It worked out great. I never had to give up a weekend with my kids just to work. I was thankful for that too.

A lot of things were going on that year. I was in school, I was working 2 jobs. And, after a very long discussion, tears and sleepless nights, Brian and I decided it was time to move. Again.
But this time, we were not moving a mile down the road. We were not even moving somewhere in the same town. We were moving to Alabama. It was a something we had discussed for many years, but it just wasn't the right time. Now, it seemed perfect. I had received my certification in Phlebotomy, and was just finishing up my second class. I was getting experience at the hospital, and I loved what I was doing. Brian had been with his job for almost 14 years. He drove an hour a day to and from work, and it was finally putting a toll on him. Financially, we were strapped.
We started searching for houses and jobs. I knew I probably wouldn't have a hard time finding a job since I now had Phlebotomy on my resume. Brian wasn't worried about him finding a job either. When Brian came across a job on the internet, he sent in his application. It didn't take long for them to call him up and set up an interview. Brian told them that we would be in the area around July 4th. They set up the interview for July 6. This was all moving so fast, and we didn't even have our house on the market yet, and already Brian was setting up interviews. The interview went well. They wanted him to start ASAP. Brian had to tell the guy that our house wasn't even on the market yet. They company wanted Brian so bad, they were willing to wait as long as it took. Which for us was great news.

As soon as we got back from Tennessee, we called a realtor and our house was officially on the market.
We were moving. Right away, I started researching cases where the non-custodial parent moves out of the state, and what the visitation schedule might look like. I found several. So I tied them altogether to form, what I thought was a perfect visitation schedule. But, I was just preparing myself for when that time came. Wasn't going to let him know what my plans were just yet. Besides, he would find out soon enough when the boys would tell him.

I sat with the boys and explained to them what the move would mean. I wanted to know their thoughts and feelings about the move. We talked about how it will impact our time together, but that I will do my best to make sure that we still have the summer and holidays together. I told them that I am going to request from the judge that I have them for 6 weeks in the summer instead of the 5. I will also request that I have every spring break. Christmas can still remain the same, since their dad's family already had tradition with the kids. I wasn't going to infringe on that. I was going to however,ask that every other year I have the kids for new years eve and have them home on the 2 or 3rd, which ever worked out.
But I didn't think that what I was going to request was all that unreasonable. Especially since I copied most of it off the internet.

The boys did have some reservations about the move. Mainly, that I wouldn't be able to pick them up every other weekend like they have been use too. It broke my heart. But I did try to ease the sadness by pointing out the positive, that every summer you will be able to share it with Hannah, Courtney, Grammy and pa-pa and Auntie Buff. They seemed to think that was pretty cool. But for now, we would just focus on the time we had together. Besides, if the house didn't sell, then nothing would change, right?
We had so many open houses, and people interested, but no buyers. But we kept our hopes up.
By the end of October of 2007, working 2 jobs was taking a toll on me. I couldn't quit my full time job because of the child support so I decided that I would have to quit my p/t job at the hospital. I was sad, but physically it was something I needed to do. So in November, I left my letter of resignation on the desk of the supervisor. The next day at KCC, would be a day I will never forget.
I had a semi good relationship with the ladies in my office. Like most women, who work together, we have different opinions, views and personalities. It was no different in the office I worked in. However, there was a few differences. It was “black and white.” Literally, and figuratively. Jealously and not minding your own business also played a huge part. The job that we had, called for us to be in the field. Which meant, most of our time was spend outside of the office and in the homes of our moms. This would cause the problems most of the time. That and prejudices.

We all took advantage of the “free” time we had. Coming and going out of the office as we pleased, we were all guilty of stopping off having lunch or running and errand on company time. I don't know what it is, but for some reason, a few coworkers found it a habit to cause trouble. This just didn't happen once or twice a year, this was an all the time thing. After I had been there for almost 6 years, I had finally had enough. This time she went over the edge. You can say what you want about me, but don't make up lies. This coworker decided to say that another “participant” saw me that morning heading to my “other job.” Which was funny, because the night before I resigned. Not to mention, I also only worked in the evenings, not the mornings.

That was about enough I could handle from her. By the end of that day, I resigned from my position of 6 years at KCC. Can you say bad timing? So I was jobless, again. I tried to get my job back with the hospital, but they said no. So immediately, I contacted the child support division office to let them know that I was now, unemployed. I never understood why I have been told to call them, because they can't do anything, except make a note of the call. I also sent an email to T, letting him know that I was unemployed, and child support would be effected. I also let him know that I would be filing a motion to have it modified while I was looking for a job to a more reasonable, and affordable amount. I never received a response from him. But I wanted to make him aware. I did the right thing, right?

When I was on the phone with the child support office, it is automatic, you don't talk to anyone. Press one for this 2 for that 3...and so on. Well, during that call, I found out that I was $14,000 in arrears. That freaked me out. How in the heck was I behind in child support? It's taken directly out of my paycheck, I don't see it. How the heck?? Well, I later discovered that back in 2005, when I hired my attorney, and they modified the child support 2x, well his attorney conveniently forgot to add in the arrears from the 2002 order. Therefore, left me in arrears. Not to mention, while I was taking my clinical, I wasn't getting paid a full check that was also added in with that arrears. Had I known, I would have done all that differently. But I had no idea. I also had no idea that his attorney didn't add that arrears in with the child support. But it was all part of the plan. I was intentional.

I filed a motion to modify child support while I was looking for a job. But I wasn't able to see a judge until January of 2008. I sent the motion to T's attorney and one to T. I also sent him an email letting him know that a motion has been filed, along with the date and time. When the January date came around, he and his attorney failed to show up. They would later claim that I never sent them the papers. Which was a lie. I not only had a signed receipt that he received it, but I also had the email that I sent with the date and time. Which I showed the judge. He wasn't to happy with the other party, which I think is why he was kind enough to modify the support until I got a job. I was thankful for that. He did say though, that I except that your x will get this in the mail and will file a motion to have it modified again. I said, “ya probably.” I thanked him, and I was on my way. Now that's more like it, in and out!

It didn't take long before I received in mail a motion to modify the child support order that the judge just lowered. I knew it wouldn't take him long, and I knew it made him mad. Oh, well. I wasn't asking for it to stop, I just needed it lowered to a more affordable amount until I found a job. Nonetheless, we were heading to court again for another round of money wars. But by the time we would go back to court, I will have had a job, my house would sell and I would be moved.

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