Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The truth be told.....

This was a bill from HIS attorney. The amount I was ordered to pay for his contempt charges on me from not paying child support in 2000-2002.

This is the original order.

This is the annual payment  I had to make to the Kane County child support division. So I was paying them to process my child support. This is standard procedure.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Setting it free

Being alienated from your kids isn't something that everyone will understand. Heck, sometimes we don't believe that it is true. We find ourselves in situations were we are embarrassed to talk about it when asked the dreaded question “do you have kids?” For me, it's a huge ordeal! I usually look away from the person who asks me, I don't make eye contact and I say, “yes, I have 4 boys!” If I'm lucky, all I get is, “wow, you must have your hands full?” My usual reply is, “you have no idea!” Then I try to remove myself from the conversation as quickly as possible. I will pretend I need to answer my phone, or a I slip off to the bathroom. I really do need to come up with a better system!

The conversation about my kids truly is something I don't share with just anyone. If I am just meeting someone, it isn't the first thing I bring up. It is just a conversation that I choose to share carefully. It usually takes me a while before I decide to share information about my situation with people I just meet. I don't want them to get the wrong impression of me from the beginning of the relationship. I have to feel these people out. See if they are trustworthy, compassionate and most of all nonjudgmental. For the most part, I can say, I have met more people with compassion, then those who don't want to believe me.

In 2010, when I first started sharing my story, I wasn't trying to gain sympathy from my readers, my family or friends. I was just trying to share my story and get that burden off my shoulders. I was however, hoping that when my family and extended family read my story, they would see it from my point of view and not believe what they have been told. Yes, there are two sides to every story, and of course, the person telling the story is sure that there's is the right story and you should believe what they are telling you is the truth. However, if the person telling that story can't back up the claims in that story they are telling, then more then likely that story they are feeding you is made up of lies!

I have never shared this with you, but I now will: After I would type of my story for the day, my coworkers would want to read the latest chapter, so one of them would print it off and pass it around. The day after I received a nasty email from one of my facebook friends (who was immediately deleted)
telling me how horrible I was, and how she could never give up her daughter, how she worked 2 jobs just to support her....ya, ya I get it! Anyway, I of course emailed her right back and expressed to her how she did what she had to do in HER situation. Mine was different, etc.
Anyhow, I overheard one of my co-workers tell another that she didn't believe a word I said, and she s thought the girl who emailed me that horrible letter was right on the money! I kid you not! I was stunned! I so badly wanted to march right up to her and let her know that I heard everything she just said and I didn't appreciate it. But, because I wasn't an actual employee there and worked for Pathgroup, I decided to keep my mouth shut. But, I did confront the other employee whom the other one told....I didn't care if she shared it with the other employee either. So up until the day I left that office in July of 2011, I kept this to myself! It's so sad to actually say I witnessed with my own eyes and ears the betrayal of who I thought was a friend. She was the only one that made that type of remark towards me and about my story. (as far as I know) I truly believe that I did make some life long friends in that office. I still talk to them to this day. They are truly friends! Miss you, you know who you are! :)

“Well, how do you know that what I have been sharing with you all this time is the truth?” My story has never changed from day one, that's how! Everything I have shared with you has been consistent. It has matched up with the statistics of Parental Alienation.

See, when someone doesn't want to hear the truth, or believe what they are hearing or seeing, they can't make themselves feel compassion for that person. They are blind to the pain of the other person.

I guess, people are going to believe what they want to believe, until they are up close and personal to the truth! ...and sometimes, that isn't even enough!

I wanted to add more to my story, but wasn't sure if I was ready to do that.
After much thought and consideration, I have decided to share detailed emails communications, letters and court documents that I have collected during the course of my divorce.

Here you will be able to put it all together from what I shared with you in my story. I wish I would have
added these in with the chapters as I talked about them But, believe me, it will all come back to you.

However, to protect the well fare of my being I will have to block out the other parties names for legal reasons.

First I will begin with a letter that I found from “his” first affair. This was written while he was in CA...after Cody was born. Then I will share a letter that his mom wrote to him about me.
I am going to try my hardest to share everything in sequence to my story.

If you look back to the beginning of my story, you will see that I mentioned both of these letters.

Ahhhh, the truth shall set you free!
This is a letter from a mother to her son. (his mom) this is what brain
washing looks like.
This is a letter he wrote during his first affair. He was in Ca at the time. Notice all the markings, remember I said I wrote her a letter. Well I was asking about those areas.I also TRIED using this in court, but got denied.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

I am a proud Mama

I can't help but think about what Cody is going through while he is adjusting to his first few days being away from “home” and being on his own. Although he isn't alone, he probably will feel like he might be in the weeks ahead of him. Even with 100 other recruits surrounding him. In the weeks ahead, he will change into a different person. In thirteen weeks he will no longer be Cody the civilian, he will become Cody the Marine. But this process for him and all the recruits will be a long one, filled with good and bad times. Filled with highs and lows. Filled with sickness and regret.

I have been so lucky to find so many things online regarding boot camp and information about what he is experiencing. I have been able to share my support by posting things I find on my 4 ever their mom facebook page. This is the ONLY way I can show my support for Cody. Show him that I love him and I am his biggest fan sitting on the sidelines cheering him on.
Being able to have and share even the smallest bit of information makes me feel like I have some form of connection to him and with him. Something that can't be taken away from me.

It is no secret, I am so happy he is no longer under the control and influence of his dad or step mom.
I am so glad he chose this path to take. It shows he is strong willed and not afraid to try new things. He's not afraid of a challenge. (He must get that from me)

It is really hard to sit back and NOT write him a letter. But trust me, if I could I would! They haven't been able to send the first letter home yet....but so bad I wish the letter home would be to me. I am always hopeful.

Although I have always been one to support our troops and show compassion for the military. It's nothing that I ever really thought about much. The first 4 years of my marriage to Cody's dad, I lived and breathed military. When he (his dad) was away at boot camp I was always writing him letters. I dreamed of a life when we were together as a family and all the boot camp and distance was behind us. When he finally finished his year long unaccompanied tour in Japan, we moved to Jacksonville, North Carolina, right outside of Camp Lejuene. This is were I had my first taste of being a military wife and living the military life. At that time, it was just another milestone in our lives. Things I should have embraced and held onto I didn't. I have memories of that time in my life, some good and some not so good.

I will always have a connection to Jacksonville. I spent 2 years of my life there. Brandon was born there..and this is where I was on my own for the very first time. My first home with Cody was in Jacksonville. I remember going through the gates of the base and seeing the Marines running in formation...I would always roll down my window just so I could here them chanting a military song as they ran. I loved that, and thought it was so cool.
I remember going shopping at the PX with Cody and buying him a hat that says “future Marine” on it and shirts that say “my dad is a US Marine.”

As I think about that time in my life, I can't help but think that Cody was with me while I listened to those Marines run and chant. He was with me when I bought that hat and t-shirts for him to wear and support his daddy. He walked on the grounds of Camp Lejuene as a little guy hand in hand with his dad.

Little did I know this was is future. This was his path to take.

I am a proud of my son, Cody.

I love you and Semper Fi!