Friday, January 27, 2012

Setting it free

Being alienated from your kids isn't something that everyone will understand. Heck, sometimes we don't believe that it is true. We find ourselves in situations were we are embarrassed to talk about it when asked the dreaded question “do you have kids?” For me, it's a huge ordeal! I usually look away from the person who asks me, I don't make eye contact and I say, “yes, I have 4 boys!” If I'm lucky, all I get is, “wow, you must have your hands full?” My usual reply is, “you have no idea!” Then I try to remove myself from the conversation as quickly as possible. I will pretend I need to answer my phone, or a I slip off to the bathroom. I really do need to come up with a better system!

The conversation about my kids truly is something I don't share with just anyone. If I am just meeting someone, it isn't the first thing I bring up. It is just a conversation that I choose to share carefully. It usually takes me a while before I decide to share information about my situation with people I just meet. I don't want them to get the wrong impression of me from the beginning of the relationship. I have to feel these people out. See if they are trustworthy, compassionate and most of all nonjudgmental. For the most part, I can say, I have met more people with compassion, then those who don't want to believe me.

In 2010, when I first started sharing my story, I wasn't trying to gain sympathy from my readers, my family or friends. I was just trying to share my story and get that burden off my shoulders. I was however, hoping that when my family and extended family read my story, they would see it from my point of view and not believe what they have been told. Yes, there are two sides to every story, and of course, the person telling the story is sure that there's is the right story and you should believe what they are telling you is the truth. However, if the person telling that story can't back up the claims in that story they are telling, then more then likely that story they are feeding you is made up of lies!

I have never shared this with you, but I now will: After I would type of my story for the day, my coworkers would want to read the latest chapter, so one of them would print it off and pass it around. The day after I received a nasty email from one of my facebook friends (who was immediately deleted)
telling me how horrible I was, and how she could never give up her daughter, how she worked 2 jobs just to support her....ya, ya I get it! Anyway, I of course emailed her right back and expressed to her how she did what she had to do in HER situation. Mine was different, etc.
Anyhow, I overheard one of my co-workers tell another that she didn't believe a word I said, and she s thought the girl who emailed me that horrible letter was right on the money! I kid you not! I was stunned! I so badly wanted to march right up to her and let her know that I heard everything she just said and I didn't appreciate it. But, because I wasn't an actual employee there and worked for Pathgroup, I decided to keep my mouth shut. But, I did confront the other employee whom the other one told....I didn't care if she shared it with the other employee either. So up until the day I left that office in July of 2011, I kept this to myself! It's so sad to actually say I witnessed with my own eyes and ears the betrayal of who I thought was a friend. She was the only one that made that type of remark towards me and about my story. (as far as I know) I truly believe that I did make some life long friends in that office. I still talk to them to this day. They are truly friends! Miss you, you know who you are! :)

“Well, how do you know that what I have been sharing with you all this time is the truth?” My story has never changed from day one, that's how! Everything I have shared with you has been consistent. It has matched up with the statistics of Parental Alienation.

See, when someone doesn't want to hear the truth, or believe what they are hearing or seeing, they can't make themselves feel compassion for that person. They are blind to the pain of the other person.

I guess, people are going to believe what they want to believe, until they are up close and personal to the truth! ...and sometimes, that isn't even enough!

I wanted to add more to my story, but wasn't sure if I was ready to do that.
After much thought and consideration, I have decided to share detailed emails communications, letters and court documents that I have collected during the course of my divorce.

Here you will be able to put it all together from what I shared with you in my story. I wish I would have
added these in with the chapters as I talked about them But, believe me, it will all come back to you.

However, to protect the well fare of my being I will have to block out the other parties names for legal reasons.

First I will begin with a letter that I found from “his” first affair. This was written while he was in CA...after Cody was born. Then I will share a letter that his mom wrote to him about me.
I am going to try my hardest to share everything in sequence to my story.

If you look back to the beginning of my story, you will see that I mentioned both of these letters.

Ahhhh, the truth shall set you free!
This is a letter from a mother to her son. (his mom) this is what brain
washing looks like.
This is a letter he wrote during his first affair. He was in Ca at the time. Notice all the markings, remember I said I wrote her a letter. Well I was asking about those areas.I also TRIED using this in court, but got denied.

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