Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A sticky situation.....

It has been a while since I last updated you on what was going on with the OP, my son and what has followed since I contacted him. ( the 3rd party contacted him)

Well, if I had talked to or had more contact with my son, you would have been the first to know. Unfortunately, I have not talked to my son, nor have I had any one else try to contact him, and he hasn't tried to contact me. But I am OK!

I have however, had an outpouring of advertisements from attorney's offering there services to help me fight this last violation. Yes, it is a violation and yes, I have another warrant for my arrest. With the “help” that am being offered, I gave one of them a call just to see what was going to actually happen.

First things first. The first thing I received in mail was a notice that I had violated the OP, which when I received it, it was already to late for me to even try to appear. It was the next day. Duh...I am sure it was planned that way. Then I received a letter in mail explaining that I have a warrant and that my bail would be $1000.00. I thought, well that's not bad, all I have to come up with is 10%. OK!
Then I received a notice/motion to extend the current OP, signed and filed guessed it,
the wonderful women behind, I mean in front of the man with no backbone.
...I’m not done yet! The last thing I received was a summons from the State of Illinois vs. Angela Kadow on the violation of an OP. But that court date isn't until December 28, 2011.

OK, so where am I at with all this? I still had/have the “free help” from that attorney in Chicago, but he hasn't exactly said he would take care of this for me. He hasn't exactly said anything actually. Which I am not surprised at all by his lack of interest or willingness to help. I just keep getting “call me when you find out what the state is going to do.” I faxed him the notice to extend, the bail/warrant letter and the latest, the summons. Again, he didn't seem to want to jump in the car and fight the extension. So, I called one of the attorney's who sent me the advertisement. I actually talked to him when I got my first violation, and he was a huge help. And it cost me nothing, just a few minutes on the phone.
So I called him again. He took the time again to look at all the stuff I faxed him, and once again, he was very helpful.

He told me that first of all, the bail is actually set at $10,000 and 10% of that is $1000.00. Which he found to be extremely high for just a misdemeanor. But he said they are probably trying to send a message. (Well received!) Then he said, that the notice of motion to extend the OP, was not written properly, and had no validation. But if I didn't show up, or hire him to show up for me to fight the extension, more then likely the judge would extend it. However, most do not extend them past 2 years.
But, with 2 violations, he said he might extend it. He also said that SHE can't file it on behalf of Cody, he would have to file it himself. But the way she wrote it up, doesn't state who she wants to “protect” from me. Not to mention, as she listed the reasons why she is requesting the extension, first violation, second violation, she added, that I have still been contacting the schools. That is a lie. I have not and do not contact the schools. I will admit, that I do receive daily announcements, and newsletters. Anyone can get those, it's on the District 300 website. I haven't spoke to a teacher, a principle, a counselor, not even a janitor. She was reaching for something else to use, with the hopes he will extend the OP. Good luck!

The attorney's fees would be $500 up front and a total of $2000 to clear my name, squash the warrants and fight to get the OP dropped. I would have to come up there, to Illinois and turn myself in. I would be photographed, finger printed, the whole kit and kaboodle, and then I would post bail. Mentally, I don't know if I could handle all that. I just don't know. If I didn't have to go through all that mess, I probably would hire him and let him take care of all of this. But just the thought of that scares me to sickness.

If I don't? Well, they might extend the warrant to any jurisdiction. Meaning, that if I was in California, and got pulled over, then I could be arrested, and sit in jail until Illinois decided what to do with me.
That is the worst case scenario. He didn't think they would take it that far, being that I am not a “threat” they are not in fear and I live 700 miles away. But, worst cases seem to be my motto.

I am slightly disappointed in that attorney from Chicago that said I could consider him my attorney if anyone asked. But like I've said before, I can't trust any of them. I see it happen all the time on TV, some lucky dog gets representation for free because they think he is being unfairly treated. Or, the story is just so bizarre that they get a movie, a book deal and Gloria Albright to represent them. Dang it, who's out there for me? Where is Gloria when I need her? Ha!

So should I have waited until the OP expired before I tried to contact him? Or in this case, a third party? Probably so. But, what would you have done? If you hadn't seen your child in 2 years and
knew that when he turned 18, a legal adult, you had a chance of being reunited with him. I did it because I was promised. I did it because he told me that when he turned 18 he would contact me. I did it because that attorney told me it would be OK...he was a legal adult now and there was nothing his dad or step-mom could do! Really?

I don't know how different the outcome would be if I would have waited. I know that I wouldn't have that email between him and that third party. But having that, just makes me sad knowing he wants to talk to me and reconnect, but being told he can't. It makes me sad because my hands are tied, and I can't do anything about it.

So I guess I'm going to wait this one out. I can't do anything else to try and connect with him without facing legal warfare. I can't, it's to traumatizing and mentally draining. I also don't want to put Cody in any position that he feels threatened by his dad or his step-mom.

I know he's sad, confused and mislead. He's torn between pleasing his dad, keeping the peace and wanting to talk to me. What a horrible thing for anyone to deal with. He's trapped, he's being held against his will. And he's crying out and they are not listening. Who are these people? Why are they so cruel?

I was hoping to make it to his graduation in May. But that's not gonna happen. I don't want them to try anything stupid to ruin Cody's day. And they probably would Besides, it would be so hard for me to see my boys and not be able to talk to them or hug them. It would be placing them in a very awkward position as well, and I don't want that for them.

I wanted that picture with me and my son in his graduation gown. But I won't have that chance. I won't be able to share that special day with him. I won't be able to tell him how proud I am of him. I won't be able to capture all the memories of that day. That was stolen from me. It was stolen from us.

So, until he's totally out of the house, out from under the control and dictatorship of his father and step-mom. I am done. I've already taken to many risks, and caused problems for myself, and heartbreak for Cody.

All I wanted to do was reconnect with the son that was stolen from me. Was that such a bad thing?