Thursday, April 19, 2012

Not defeated.....

After I found out that Cody had enlisted in the Marines, and the initial shock wore off, I knew nothing was going to stop me from attending his graduation. I put on my inspector gadget magic fingers and I began to investigate. Day after day I would sit and look for any clues that I could to know when and where he was going to be leaving for boot camp. First, he wasn't suppose to leave until April 2012. Then, soon that date changed. He was leaving January 17, 2012.

No sooner he landed in San Diego for his 13 weeks of training, and I found out when his graduation was, I booked my flight for San Diego. I was bound and determined to make it to his graduation. Come hell or high water I was going!

So, I joined the MFN (Marine Family Network) site and followed along with all the other proud parents as they counted down the days until graduation. I watched as they all received their first phone calls. Their first letters. Then the second, and thrid. Then one of the mothers began a Facebook group. Immediatly, I joined! Hoping that someone might have information they were willing to share.

I put out there that I was an alienated mom and was hoping to find out what platoon my son, Cody was in. Instantly, mothers and fathers rallied to help me find that information. They all were going to send letters to their sons asking if they new Cody Collins. But that was short lived. She got a hold of that post and made it perfectly clear that I was not to receive any information regarding that recruit due to leagl issues.

I was instantly the outcast. I left the group. I knew that I shouldn't have, but I did. I knew that because of the target she made me out to be, I would never get anyone to talk to me.

On March 29, 2012 my attorney went to court to try and get that OP dropped. He knew that it was based on lies. He knew from the Illinois statutes, that no judge who was given the correct information would ever sign such an order. OP's are not extended for 63 years. Only in 2 year incriments and after a review. I am not a threat to my kids. I have not stalked them, harrassed them or showed up at their home, or place of buisness. Not only that, but Cody is no longer a minor, therefore the OP no longer applies to him.

He was going into the court room with all this to back up his claim on why the OP needed to be dropped. But, like always, it got continued. April 26th is the new hearing.

April 11, 2012

I landed in San Diego about 730pm. As I flew in over that beautiful city, tears started streaming down my face. I knew that the runway was on the same side as the base. I saw for the first time where Cody had been for 13 weeks. The time had finally arrived. I was a mix of emotions. Just beyond that gate was my son. The son that I had longed for so long to reconnect with. The son that I wanted to badly to hug. I was hopeful, this time I will get that chance.

The next day I had plans with my friend, Kim. She and I had been planning these few days for weeks. She and I met in 2nd grade. So we knew we had a lot of catching up to do. First stop, the San Diego Zoo. Then Misson Beach, and harbor island. We finished out that night at Hard Rock Cafe. We filled up our day with fun activites. Not only did I enjoy the day with her and her children. I fell in love with the city of San Diego.

That night, after her kids were all tucked away. We talked about the next day. The graduation. I told her what could happen. I showed her who to call if I was arressted and what to do. I hoped for the best, but prepared myself for the worst. We talked until 2 am. I told her what led up to all this mess. She was a great support.

April 13, 2012 Graduation Day

That morning, after we were all ready to go. I sat on the bed and began to shake. Tears poured down my face like the Niagra Falls. It was an uncontrollable sob. The time had finally come. After 4 years of not seeing my son, I was about to come face to face with him. Or so I hoped. Kim was a great support. She comforted me. Yet she didn't know the real pain I was feeling. The loss of a child, unless you have experienced it, you just don't know the pain.

Before we left for the base, we prayed. I am not one to pray outloud in a group or even lead in a prayer. But that day I did. I just felt like I needed God to hear it from me, outloud.

Then I wiped my face, and off we went. We were so close to the base, it was like no time we were at the gate. First hurdle was just getting on the base. The fear I had was "her" alerting them about me. Telling me who I was and asking them not to let Angie Kadow with a Georgia liscense on the base. But, like everyone else, we had to get out of our vehicle, it was searched, like everyone elses, they scanned our drivers liscense and away we went! Phew!

I was so focused on "them" that I forgot to take pictures. So I gathered myself and began to take a few pictures of the base. I was so happy to just be on that base. I was so hopeful!

We found a place to park, I took what I needed and we started walking towards the crowd. It was calling for rain that day, so they moved the ceremony indoors. Which I was hoping that wouldn't happen. We stood as far back as we could, to go unnoticed...

They started letting people in the auditorium and we slowly followed. I had to use the bathroom, I know, bad timing right? I was sure that she would be in there. Ahhh, the bathroom stop was a success. "She" wasn't in there!

As I walked out, Kim says, "there are two doors to choose from, which one will you choose?" We laughed! I picked the one we were standing closest too. Door 1!

We walked in and I kept my head down, and sunglasses on. Good thing or bad thing?

We made our way to the left and up 9 stairs. We sat down, and I laid low. I didn't make eye contact with anyone. About 15, or 20 minutes went by and Kim looked over at me and said "is that your son right there?"

She was refering to Dalton. I said "omg, YES!" How did you know that? She had NEVER met my kids or my x. Only pictures of them over the years. But somehow she just knew.

So I slowly leaned to my right and in full view was Dalton. Sitting behind him was "the x!"

I was in total shock. Boy did "he" look bad! At first I didn't think it was him because he was bald in the back. But after I saw his profile, I knew it was him. I laughed to myself and repeated a "George Castanza," "He's bald!" "Bald, bald!" 4 years sure had taken its tole on him. Yikes! But, God has his ways of punishing people. I guess he's working on him slowly!

The ceremony started and I was eager to find Cody. The opening ceremony started off by recognizing any former Marines the crowd. Guess who stood up? Yep! Now I am going to remind you, that he was discharged from the Marines after 4 years of service because he was accused of raping that women. He was stripped of his rank and was discharged. DISCHARGED PEOPLE! I don't believe the saying "Once a Marine always a Marine" pertains to someone who pissed away thier entire military carrer for a piece of tail. He was a disgrace to the Marines.

But he stood up anyway. The only 2 people who knew what he had done 17 years ago, was me and him. Funny, how this has come full circle. While applauding for all the other former Marines, I was screaming in the back of my mind, "sit down, your a disgrace to the Corp"!

But then, a small tear came trickling down my face. My life was sitting in those seats in front of him. He was still holding on to the Marine motto, and living this lie. I actually for a bried moment felt bad for the guy. But, it didn't last long!

After that, 3 young men were standing up front on stage. It was time to retire the flags that the guides carried throughout bootcamp. One of those guides was my son, Cody. I remembered someone telling me that he made guide, but it was a while ago. I didn't know that retiring the flags was part of the ceremony. They name all 3 of those young men.

For a bried minute, I looked over and noticed, she was gone. 2 things came to my mind: 1, she moved closer to get pictures of Cody because she knew he was receiving special honors, or 2, she went to alert the MP's! It was funny how, when she was gone, he moved up sitting on the edge of his seat blocking the kids so I couldn't see them or so they couldn't see me. Sick, sick people!

After the ceremony was over, all the Marines went out the side door and all families went out the doors we came in. As Kim and I started making our way out of the auditorium, I noticed that HE was standing up watching my every move. PAAAAALLLLEEEASE! Arms crossed at times and other times he was on the phone. Sooo COOL!

As we made our way out the doors and outside, he stayed far enough away, yet close enough to keep his eye on me. She was out of site. But they remained on the phone with each other.

He started walking over to the left, so I slowly followed. I was thinking, he was headed right to Cody. Then like a fart in the wind, he vanished. I asked Kim, "where did he go?" She didn't know either. Then over to the left of me there she was. One of my sons was standing with her. Both very defensive, both with arms crossed like a gate. A barrier. I told Kim, don't look, but she's standing to the left of me with my son, who I believe is Brandon. My sweet little Brandon...being forced to watch as the MP's came and removed me from the crowd.

As I saw the MP's approach me, I knew right then and there HE was leading me to the slaughter. The once excited and defining crowd became silent as I walked towards the MP's car and we started talking. Everything was silent was like we were the only people there at that moment.

The MP's were super nice. I told them exactly what my attorney told me to say. I gave them the statutes that my attorney gave me, and that seemed to work. I explained to them, all I wanted to do was see my son graduate. No tears were shed, my voice didn't's like I had performed that speech 100x .... and I will say, I laid on the charm and personality too. Come on....I had to add some humor to this situation. I didn't get a smirk from them a time or two.

They said they wouldn't arrest me, but they had to escort me off the base because THEY were still on the OP. They totally got it, that Cody himself really was not according to the Illinois Statues. As they walked me and Kim to her car, I asked the MP if he would try and get my sone to come talk to me. Then I mentioned that this will make for a great new story in the paper. He excused himself and told me to follow the other MP. Where was he going? MMMM!

As we waited for the other guy to come back, I called my attorney, who didn't answer the phone. I started talking to him about Parental Alienation. That SHE lied when obtaining the OP about Cody's age and SHE lied about him enlisting in the Marines. He said, that I needed to tell the other MP about that. I also decided to tell them that my x was dischared from the Marines for duriliction of duty. And I told him the story. He was flabergasted! I got his sympathy vote! Then I handed him a brochure about that time the other MP came back. He said he called the Illinois States Attorney's office, but said he didn't feel that I did anything wrong and that they were not even going to file a police report, just make a journal entry. We got in the car, and they followed us until we were off the base.

I was fine! I got to watch him graduate. Yes, the goal was to hug him and get pictures of him...but I was there. My boys know I was there. AND of course THEY knew I was there and that pissed them off. They would have rather chased me all over that base then focus on Cody. So sit back and pat yourself on the back for allowing my son to stand next to you as the MP's removed me from the crowd....HE SAW THAT I WAS THERE! HE SAW HIS MOM.......

This hasn't stopped me. This little detour.....hasn't shaken my faith or made me stumble. It has made me want to fight harder. It has made me want to make sure that every alienator is exposed. That I will someday be part of making Parental Alienation recognized as a form of child abuse. I will be part of that law being signed!

Trust me, I've already been thinking about what to call it!


No comments:

Post a Comment