Thursday, February 16, 2012

The fantasy birth mom....

Recently I saw a post in a Parental Alienation group that I am in and it read:

what about parental fantasy syndrome” you know, when other people steal others babies (children) and pretend that they are theirs. Most commonly known as adoption.”

Before I relinquished my rights, I thought long and hard about the consequences. I thought about what others will think. I thought about what my life will be like if I didn't have my kids with me forever. I thought, what am I really giving up? I only had every other weekend and 5 weeks in summer, and ½ Christmas and every other holiday...when he didn't hide them from me, or fabricate an abuse story.

I thought of how it will effect me, mentally and emotionally. How will my family handle this? Most of all, what will the boys actually think? What will they tell them? How will this effect them now, and in the long run. I was truly convinced that once Cody was of age, and when he was out of high school, he would come back into my life. I was confident! We had a good loving, mother and son relationship. But, I was sadly mistaken. I didn't see the big picture. I didn't think that they could brainwash him all that bad and that he would believe them. Once again, I was mistaken.

I didn't really have a lot of time to actually think about it, really. My attorney at the time was pressuring me to “make a decision” so the paperwork can be completed and they can get started. I didn't want to do it until after my August visit in 2008. I wanted to have my kids with me one last time. But like always I was persuaded to forfeit that visitation because the boys' father didn't think that it would be a good idea. That saying goodbye would just be to hard. No, what he didn't want was for me to actually explain to the boys what was actually going down, and didn't want them to know the truth.

I sent my attorney the email, letting her know my reservations about the relinquishment, and I expressed to her that if the step mom was to adopt my kids, which was brought up in the many conversations we had, I told her that I didn't want her to adopt my kids. She told me that by law, after I sign the papers, she has the right to adopt them. I said fine, then I offered to her the option of open adoption. She once again, in her lawyer lingo convinced me that it was not an option.
3 strikes, I’m out!

On August 13, 2008 I signed the rights to my children away. It is not a moment that I am proud of. It isn't a moment any parent should ever have to face. It isn't something that should actually be aloud to happen, unless that parent is legally hospitalized and no longer able to care for themselves. I don't even know if that is even something to even think about either. Nonetheless, no parent should ever be faced with having to relinquish their rights away to their kids because they are being forced too. But sometimes, Parental Alienation forces a loving parent to do things they are not willing to do. Especially when the judges and attorney's don't care as long as they get their pockets full of money. The best interest of the children doesn't matter to the judges and attorney's and obviously it doesn't matter to the parents who have finally got what the wanted.

I thought after the papers were signed, I was going to be left alone. I didn't want to be reminded of this horrible thing that I just did. This nightmare that I was living, or the people that did this to me. But I started receiving letters in mail from HIS attorney, giving me “updates” on the progress of the adoption.
I didn't need to hear it, see it or relive it. I didn't want to know when it was happening, I didn't need to know when it was happening. But for some reason, it was all part of the sick plan....I guess they just needed to kick me while I was down. Well, it worked. Finally I wrote his attorney a letter asking them to please stop torturing me with all the sad details of the adoption. But it was one letter that actually sent me over the edge. (again, all part of sticking the knife in a little deeper) I received a letter in the mail, stating that the step-mom was changing the boys middle names. But that wasn't the worst of it, when I read that she was actually removing Austin's middle name, which was Jeffery, totally out of his name, that was the stab in the heart that really killed me. Jeffery was after my dad. His papa!

What type of sick people do that to kids? Who changes a child's name? Who takes away a child's identity?

People who live in a fantasy world, that's who! These people brainwash themselves into believing that these kids they have adopted are actually their biological children. They convince themselves they were at the birth. They can “remember the day!” They try and fill the children with memories, false memories. The kids are then programmed to believe what that new parent says is true. These same parents, do the same thing with friends and family of the “real” parent. Filling them with lies and tales.

Now, I understand the difference between “adoption”, and “adoption”. A touchy subject actually. When a pregnant mother, decides to give up her baby for adoption, it is done at birth. The new parents raise that child as their own child and in their own time share with that child they were adopted.

But “my kids adoption” isn't that type of adoption. This was an illegal adoption. A forced adoption, a brainwashed adoption. I believe that my kids were legally kidnapped by their father and their step mom. I believe that it was a plan all along from the very beginning of our divorce. But it didn't just start when she came into the picture, it just started to get worse once she came into the picture. He knew, from listening to his mom how to play the game. She was an alienated child. The man she called “dad” really wasn't her dad. So who was? Who alienated her from her biological dad? The story was, when her biological father found out about the pregnancy, he left her mom. But I'm just not buying that anymore. She was never close to her siblings....there is some skeletons in that family. A cycle that never stopped.

Little secrets she's told the boys. Making them believe that she's their mother, that she was the one who gave birth to them. Making them believe that “I” was never apart of their lives. She gave them middle names from her family and took away mine. Who does that?

You can't have what wasn't yours to begin with, honey! Eventually the truth will be told and the truth will set my children FREE!

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